Need a laugh???

Today, the Western Kansas wind was even worse than normal. On my trip from home to the Seaboard Mill, I noticed tumbleweeds and trash flying through the air with the greatest of ease. Little did I know what the winds had in store for me as soon as I tried to exit our Buick at the mill.

There are four parking spaces right next to the front entrance of the mill offices. That is usually where I park when I go out to clean. Fortunately, when I arrived at the property, one space remained for me to park so I gladly took it. Now, something else that I need to tell you is that our "herd" needed some fresh air so all seven of them boarded the car with me. The two babies, a long-haired chihuahua and a Chinese crested, both think that whenever Mommy leaves the vehicle, they should also. Of course, when I am going to be working, they have to stay in the car and wait patiently. No big deal. I am usually in and out in an hour's time.

Today, Tilla and Chloe were more determined than ever to go to work with me. So, while they were trying to get out of the car, I was hurriedly trying to get out and get the dog gone door shut--quickly. Well, the wind blasted through the car door and lifted my handicapped parking plaquard right out of the side pocket, took it above and over the pick-up next to me. Of course, I tried to catch it. Just as soon as I came close to catching it again, the winds picked it up and moved it about 20 feet away. As before, just when I was ready to pick it up, it was moved further south. By this point, the plaquard was now almost to the second row of railroad tracks.

Lets get on to my clothing attire for the day. From the time that I got up this morning until it was time to go to Seaboard, 3:00, I wore my floral moo moo. Now, if you are of the slender body build type, you probably have absolutely no idea what a moo moo is. Well, moo moos were created for those of us who are built more like a cow or pig than anything else. They are made to cover everything from your neck to the floor below your feet. A considerable amount of fabric is used to construct moo moos so that us robust people can just kinda disappear somewhere beneath the cloth. At no point, is anyone supposed to be able to see your body's form. Works great! Some people choose to wear them around the house very regularly. Several days ago, I read that some state governments are trying to set guidelines as what can and cannot be worn in public places. One picture that was shown was of a lady who was wearing her pink moo moo at a grocery store. People were in an uproar about how this lady's clothing had offended them. People, PLEASE. Would you have preferred to have seen her extra large body squeezed into a tight tee shirt and shorts or a pair of jeans where she was bursting out of the seams???

Well, anyway. I am glad that I had not worn my moo moo to Seaboard today. If I had, I would probably be landing right about now in Oklahoma City. You see, whenever strong gusts of wind blow up inside of the trendy moo moo, the moo moo bursts upwards just like a hot-air balloon. Oh, mercy!!! I am not one who likes to fly especially when there is no steward on board to bring me my regular doses of coca cola... (Earlier today, I had worn my moo moo to the mailbox to retrieve our mail. The winds lifted my fashion statement clothing way higher than I felt comfortable with. LOL!)

So, instead, I wore a baggy pair of sweatpants and a fairly baggy tee shirt. I was feeling too tough (stupid) to wear a coat or even a jacket. Believe me, I paid for that blunder!

So, anyway, the wind has blown my plaquard to the second set of rairoad tracks. Come hell or high water, by golly, I am going to get it back!!! Through the process, I lose my footing when running down one of the rocky slopes attached to the rr tracks. I fell to the ground, picked myself up and continued in my trek to rescue the plaquard. Walla! I threw myself on to it. I reminded myself of a very short and heavy football player throwing himself on top of the football. I had to chuckle just a wee bit. With my fingers clinched tightly on the oblong piece of blue and white plastic, I headed back towards the mill, the winds slapping me in the face all the way. I suppose that they were punishing me for re-capturing my plaquard before the winds had sent it into the alcohol plants smelly ponds. (Believe me, if it had been deposited in one of the ponds, I would have left it there. LOL!)

Of course, I had to go mountain climbing again so that I could get past the railroad tracks. Though climbing downward on these large pointed rocks is tough, I learned that climbing upwards on them is nothing joyous either. Halfway up the hill, I lost my footing again and fell flat on my butt!!! Instead of wearing hiking boots, I was wearing my signature backless clogs.

By this time, I was FREEZING. My hands were tingling and my lips were numb. With the thought of me finding heat in the offices, I forged forward with everything I had in me.

Now, my days of being fit are well behind me. I have never been known for my coordination and agility. My extra poundage has eaten away at what little coordination I once had. Plus, this extra assertion was causing me some major problems. First of all, since my heart surgery, set heat and cold limitations have been set for me. Today's temperature with the extreme winds factored in was below my lowest temperature for outdoor activities. By the time I arrived in the mill's foyer, I was out of breath and my heart was doing everything that it could to exit my body. I found the closest seat and sat down for about 15 minutes until I felt much better. I am fine again now. I did learn something today. It is time that I start excercising more and drinking less coke.

Just another of my comical moments...

VLE-B