Have Time for a Break and Maybe Even a Laugh or Two?

I need to just sit and rest awhile before I resume my work on the chairs. I might as well get back to telling you of my adventure on Thursday night that Blogger decided to not publish in its entirety.

Okay. So Thursday night, Leighlyn and I decided to take the Buick to one of our local convenience stores for gas. We drove up to the one where the fuel was 2 cents cheaper per gallon than the other one. (Aren't we just so smart? LOL!) As soon as I opened my driver's side door to exit the vehicle, I knew that I had gotten too close to the gas pump island. Rather than just sitting back down and moving the car, I decided that I was tough! I would just bully my way through the door. Well, I would like to tell you that my gumption paid off but I would definitely be lying to you.

If you know me, you know that I am top heavy, bottom heavy and heavy everywhere else in between. LOL! When I had attempted to stand up, my top heavy area of the female body, for lack of a better word, got stuck. Oh, mercy me! That was not very comfortable. I wiggled this way. I wiggled that way. I wiggled up and I wiggled down. It sorta paid off for me. My upper parts were able to be somewhat eradicated but not enough eradicated to allow me to breathe very well. But in doing this, my middle heavyiness became stuck also. Moving around was not working so well.

It was at about that time that I heard footsteps coming towards the car--and ME! Oh, I HATED to see who it was!!! Out of the darkness that enveloped us came a man whom I did not recognize. Normally when I meet a stranger in the dark, I am considerably uneasy about the situation but this time, somehow, I was actually relieved that I did not know this man. You're probably wanting to know WHY I was happy that this stranger had come within just a few feet of my car when there was absolutely no one else out there besides him and me. (Leighlyn had gone into the store to purchase some goodies for her road trip the following day.) I looked at it this way. If I did not know him, chances are that he did not know me either. That way, if he discovered how totally pathetic I was, he would be unable to put a name to me when he was laughing about this in the local coffee clubs the next morning. See how smart I am? Yeah, right.

I know that many of you probably think that there is not one single shy bone in this, shall we say...robust body of mine. If you are one of those people who believe that, I don't me to offend you, but you are mistaken. I have never ever felt like I was good enough, pretty enough, skinny enough, smart enough...that anyone would want to have anything to do with me. I usually would prefer to hide under the nearest building than subject someone to my unworthiness... But at the same time, I know what it feels like when someone apparently blows you off by not speaking to you. So, I go out of my way to be friendly to others. In most cases, I am glad that I did extent my friendly greetings to others. In doing so, I have made some wonderful friends!

So anyway, here I am, my very AMPLE body is stuck between one hard place and another hard place. My back, which had been having spasms earlier in the day, was now awkwardly twisted and hurting again. I was unable to get anything except for about 3/4 of my head above the top of our car. Here comes this stranger. Oh, no! I was totally TRAPPED and I wanted absolutely NO ONE to realize that!!! This poor man in front of me probably thought that I was an old dwarf who was very stiff and seemingly unwilling to move around much.

I asked my new friend how he was. You know usually whenever we are asked that question, our automatic response is "Just fine! How are you?" Then we basically walk on off. This man, who was unknown to me, was different. He wanted to discuss his not-so-great day with me. Under ordinary circumstances, I would have had absolutely NO objection to that. But in normal situations, I would not have been losing the feeling in my legs, in my arms, in my tummy... Still, I did not want to ignore him or appear to be uncaring, so I just kinda stayed there. Besides until Leighlyn came out of the store, I had no way of going anywhere else anyway. LOL!!!

So I listened to all that he had to say and I offered advice whenever it was wanted. Still, the numbing was getting worse. My breathing was getting more difficult. At any time, I worried that I might faint. The only good thing about this fainting was that I would not fall and hit my head or anything else. My body would just stay in this same position. Ha! Ha!

Eventually, the man decided to go on. A few seconds later, he disappeared around the corner of the store. We would probably never ever see one another again. A few minutes later, Leighlyn returned to the car. She asked me why I had not gotten any fuel. She had not realized that I was basically frozen in place. Ha! Ha! She about fell to the pavement below with all of her laughter when the realization of what was happening sank in! I have to admit that for the first time since my ordeal had begun, I was also enjoying a good deal of my own laughter!

We both realized that I could not remain in this position forever so we decided to do something about it. Since Mel's Foodliner and Dollar General were closed already, no one could get enough butter or margarine together to grease me up and slide me out of my trap. I suggested that she get in on the passenger side of the Buick and make her way to the driver's side. Once there, this 13-year-old girl with no driver's license, needed to drive the car forward. She realized that she needed to make this maneuver VERY slowly and VERY carefully. I was more than a bit concerned when she asked me which pedal she needed to press to make the car move. Hmmm, in actuality, I was scared to death! LOL!!! I gave her a quick education on driving. By now, my feet and hands were totally numb. I had probably been in this position for at least 15 minutes. Without a doubt, measures needed to be taken quickly! Thank the Good Lord, she did an excellent job of driving that 5-10 feet! She didn't even drive over my fat little feet!!! LOL!!!

Ordinarily when a person stands up after exiting a vehicle, the motion feels good. We enjoy getting to stretch everything out. But when your body has gone numb in most places, you really don't feel the stretching exercise. I was abundantly happy to stand erect again though! Within a matter of a few seconds, my blood began to flow to all extremeties again and I could feel everything once again! How delightful!!!

I then made my way to the gas pump and fueled the tank. I was so happy to be F-R-E-E once again!

As with most painful and/or embarassing moments that we find ourselves in, if we think long and hard enough, we can realize that there are ways that we could have been worse off. This was true in this case also. I could have been wearing my oh-so-stylish floral moo moo at the time. You remember it. It was the one that I was wearing out to the mailbox a year or so ago when a gust of wind came up and blew it up over my head. (Some of our neighbors have yet to recover from that viewing!) It is also the one that I was wearing backwards this morning when the Wheatland Electric lineman came to work on our meter...

Life is wonderful and laughter just increases the value of it!!!

VLE-B