Tuesday, December 13, 2011

It is over!!!

Because I am now 50, the high incidence of cancer in my family and the wide assortment of prescription drugs that I take every day, it was highly recommended that I have a colonoscopy. Believe me, I put this procedure off just as long as I possibly could. LOL! Finally, I faced the music and decided that I might as well take the bull by its horns and bend over. Ha! Ha! (Actually, you really don't bend over. Just lie on your side.)

Through the years, whenever I've listened to the people who have had colonscopies, I got the impression that this is a procedure to be feared. All in all, I finally decided that if I was brave enough to have open heart surgery, I should be able to "bare" my soul(no, my posterior end) to the world. My appointment was early this morning so that meant that I needed to prepare for it starting early yesterday evening. The surgeon had called in my prescription for this medicine to our local pharmacy. I went to pick it up yesterday. As soon as the technician put it on the counter, I about died. It was a H-U-G-E clear container that held powders at the bottom. Once at home, I was to fill it up with lukewarm water and shake it up. I remembered saying "Oh, My God!!!" as soon as I saw this jug. Everyone around me laughed also. In case you are not familiar with colonoscopies, everything that was in that jug and enough water to fill it up would have to be drunk in a timely manner. That doesn't sound so bad except for two things.

1. This solution tastes anything but good.

2. We've all heard that anything that goes up, has to come down. In this case, everything that goes down comes out also. The coming out is not smooth either, I might add. You end up running for the closest bathroom facility until you finally give in and elect to just sit in the bathroom reading magazines until your next bout with the toilet. That's what I did.

Because my blood needed to be thickened, I had to go off of my blood thinners and had been been having 2 injections of medication in my stomach every evening since last Tuesday. So Stan took me to the hospital to get that done. We came right home and I began drinking...and drinking...and drinking. I had to drink 8 ounces of this yukky stuff every 10 minutes from about 6:00 to 9:00. Finally at 9:00, half of the bottle had been drunk. I didn't have to start drinking the second half until about 5:00 this morning. I had a relatively uneventful night but was not ready to drown myself in the rest of this liquid so early in the morning, but I did it anyway. Again, I lived in the bathroom for most of two hours. Because of the fact that I was having this done in Scott City, I worried that I might have to stop along the 24 mile distance from our home to the hospital. Evidentally, there was nothing left in that particular section of my body. Stan didn't even have to stop once along the way. Thank You, God!!! It was a very foggy night with temperatures just barely above the freezing point. Stopping for Mother Nature would not have been a good deal. Ha! Ha!

So, anyway, we arrive at the hospital and I was checked in. Soon after that, nurses appeared to get me dressed in one of those oh-so-modest nightgowns, poke me for IVs, draw blood, ask questions, etc., etc., etc. All were very nice so that definitely helped me. Getting dressed was the really bad part. I look terrible in a nightgown that covers me on all sides. Nightgowns that leave my worst side open to the rest of the world, is even worse. LOL! To make matters even worse, I was sharing a room with another lady. By the time that I was dressed--or undressed--however you look at it, I had to make a few more trips back and forth to the shared toilet. I did my best to hold my IV tubes out from under my feet with one hand. The other hand was responsible for keeping my exposed tail end covered with the cloth that did not cover my entire body. I was not very successful. I felt so bad for the other patient in the room. She'll probably have nightmares for years to come. Man nor beast should have to view a sight like that. LOL!

As soon as I was ready for surgery, I was allowed to sit in bed and just read my very first edition of HGTV magazine. (By the way, if you love interior design and decorating like I do, you just have to get this magazine! It is SUPERB!!! Soon, the surgical nurse arrived to take me to the surgery room. Again my neighbor had to endure me going from my regular bed to the bed on wheels. I just hope she hasn't gone blind as a result of what I put her through this morning... A few minutes later, I was transferred from that gurney to the surgical bed. People were all around me. If you are obese as I am, whenever you are put in a position such as this, it reminds us of vultures circling for the kill. Ha! I just want to close my eyes and disappear. In this case, all of these people were quite kind. Shortly after arriving, I was asked to turn over on my side so that my posterior could be viewed easily. At about the same time, my anesthesiologist hooked me up to oxygen which was "laced" with sleepy time medication. I was out very quickly. The next thing that I knew, a nurse was trying to waken me. About 20 minutes later, I was back in my hospital room waiting for Stan to pick me up and take me home.

I had the kind of results everyone wants. Everything was totally normal. There was nothing to be concerned about. As soon as I got home, I was to take a double dose of blood thinners which I was only too happy to take. I had some mild chest pains yesterday that signaled that my blood was getting too thick to pass safely through my mechanical heart valve. I am now done with having to take more shots until later this month when we prepare for my next surgery.

The reason I am "baring" all of this to you is because I want you to know that this procedure is not nearly as evil as many would have you to believe. It is basically painless. The worst part is definitely having to drink that solution. My daughter, Abigayle, helped me with that though. She would come over and hold my nose shut while I drank from a straw. It helped! I also recommend that you put your mixed solution into your refrigerator for a few hours before you start drinking it. I also suggest that you use a straw to suck it up. By doing this, you don't taste this so much. Just know that someone will have to give you a ride home because you are not allowed to drive again for at least 12 hours.

I am relieved that this is over and that my results were good. Ready to get yours scheduled?


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