Wednesday, April 28, 2010

A very special day

Sunday is a very important day for Stan and I. On May 2nd, we will be celebrating our 28th wedding anniversary! I am so very fortunate. I didn't marry just anyone--I married my very best friend! That is one of the biggest reasons that we are still together.

Ya' know when we are young we imagine all kinds of scenarios about where we'll meet our one true love. Strangely, I didn't ever envision meeting the love of my life where it happened--in the NURSING HOME!!! Yeppers. It was November 22, 1980, (my parents' anniversary). I had just graduated from high school the previous May. I thought that I wanted to become an RN. But, before my parents paid out a large amount of college tuition, I prefered to stay at home one more year and get experience by working at the nursing home. (Don't tell anyone but I wasn't ready to leave Mama, Daddy and my two little sisters whom I love so very, very much.)

That particular day was a cold, grey Sunday. Stan had just recently moved to Leoti to be an assistant manager at Frost Market. He was off work that day and wanted to spend part of the day with his grandmother, Julia Blau, who just happened to be a resident at Golden Acres.

Yes, we met that day but never started dating until the last week of January. We were engaged on February 2nd and married on May 2nd. We moved quickly!

Like all married couples, we have had our fair share of obstacles. I was the main one who caused our obstacles to appear. Living with a bi-polar person is never easy. Somehow, Stan has survived it. During our marriage, we have lost one child, three parents,4 grandparents... But, more importantly, we have gained three children who have brought so much love and joy into our home.

Sometimes, we laugh. Sometimes, we cry but we support one another throughout the whole thing.

We've never been rich but we've definitely been poor. More than once, we didn't even have as much as one lone penny in our pockets. No matter what monetary status we've had or haven't had, we've been totally rich with an abundance of love.

I can't believe how quickly the past 27 years have flown by. Unfortunately, I am sure that the next years will also pass us by way too soon.

I have some advice on what it takes to have a beautiful marriage.

1. Never go to bed angry with your mate. If the situation cannot be "fixed" before you go to sleep, kiss each other and agree to pick the conflict back up where you left off.

2. Try to understand what your lover is going through.

3. Forgive. ALWAYS forgive.

4. Don't feel that you have to surprise your spouse in big expensive ways. Instead surprise them with the little inexpensive or FREE things such as fresh cookies, a dinner out on the town, a walk around the neighborhood, candles and roses...the list goes on and on and on. In other words, make sure that your loved one knows that you love him/her more and more everyday.

5. Too many couples' marriages stall out. The involved people stop producing new love to keep the marriage fresh and strong. They start spending less time as a couple and more time as individuals. Though I firmly believe that it is important for both of the partners to have their own friends, I have seen too many people begin to spend more and more time with their friends, at work, etc. In the past 10 years or so, many individuals have stopped spending time with the love of their lives so that they can spend time with their computer. Unless you want to snuggle up to that computer on cold, snowy nights, you probably owe it to your love to spend less time online.

6. DON'T KEEP SCORE!!! I am thinking of a certain couple. She won't do something nice for him until he does something nice for her. He won't do something nice for her until she does something nice for him. It becomes a vicious circle. Neither one of the pair is willing to put out the first effort to please the other. So DUMB!!!

7. And always, ALWAYS remember that we should never take the other for granted. None of us is ever guaranteed to wake up tomorrow morning.

8. NEVER stop telling each other how important he/she is to you. Stan and I speak to each other several times a day via telephone. Before we hang up, we always tell each other "I love you." Before he leaves for work in the morning, he tells me that he loves me. Before we got to bed at night, we tell each other that we love one another.

9. Keep your love freshened regularly. Spend quiet time together. Don't forget to touch one another. You're never too old or too poor to hold hands.

Thank you, Lord, for blessing me with my Danley!!!



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