Saturday, October 23, 2010

My birthday wish

My birthday is Friday, October 29th. I am asking for anyone who is interested to go on the following website and make a one-time donation to my favorite cause--helping children who have been abused in one way or another. The minimum donation is $10.00 (ten dollars) but you can choose to leave higher amounts if you want to. My ultimate goal is $1,000.00

Twenty one years ago, SRS (Social Rehabilitation Services) for the state of Kansas, came to Stan and I and asked us if we would be willing to become foster parents. I immediately said "NO". At the same exact time, Stan was saying "YES". The social worker asked me why I was not willing to do this. I explained to her that my decision was purely selfish--I didn't want to have to say "good-bye" to the kids.

At the time, we had not been able to have our own children. I knew that as soon as the parents of these foster children had completed their court-mandated changes, the kids would be returned to them and we would be left with voids in our hearts.

The social worker told Stan and I that she had two little boys who would be going up for adoption. She really wanted us to be their forever parents. Ben was 12 and Adam was 10. Both boys were older than what we would have hoped but it seemed that God wanted to put all four of us together anyway.

Stan and I decided to think about the issue for awhile. The very next morning, we called the SRS office and told the worker that we had decided to become foster parents. Within a week's time, a study had been done on our home, our personal backgrounds had been done and our foster care license was on it's way! Just after that, Ben and Adam were brought to our home.

Ben was extremely talkative. Adam was the direct opposite. We never heard his voice for two MONTHS!!! He would whisper to Ben whatever it was he wanted us to know. These boys had been subjected to horrendous abuse all of their lives. Adam had withdrawn into himself for protection. Stan and I were patient and extended our love to Adam and absorbed whatever he was able to give back to us. As time went by, Adam began to trust us little by little and finally, lot by lot. He discovered that he had a family whom loved him with all of our hearts. That family included not only us. My parents, Stan's parents, our brothers and sisters, etc were only too happy to accept him!

Eventually, Ben moved on. We weren't equipped with all of the knowledge that was needed to help him. Two years after Adam moved in, we were able to complete his adoption! It took many hours of counseling and a great many tears through the years to get where we are today. I don't think that most people have any idea of just how much so many children have been hurt in this world of ours. Kids are not "just" being physically abused. Many are being mentally and/or sexually abused. Honestly, from the many children who were brought into our home, I cannot believe that any of them did not sustain emotional abuse. I think that emotional abuse comes right alone with any of the other forms of abuse. Many of these children are subjected to all of these forms of abuse.

Just by being moved into a foster home is not the "cure" for all of the pain that these children have gone through. All of the love and support of the world is not enough to heal them. And, believe me, the children never forget what they went through. These scars will remain with them for the rest of their lives. Oftimes, these abused people become abusive people to their own children or other children who are in their lives. They need help to be able to override these urges to hurt someone else.

Right now, you know children who are being abused even if you do not see the signs. Our experience as foster parents taught us that abusive parents often threaten their child/children with more abuse or even DEATH if they tell someone about what is happening. You really need to go on the internet and find out what the signals are that point to abuse. If you learn that a child is being hurt, you need to contact the proper authorities and let them know what you have seen or heard. By choosing to ignore the signs of abuse, you are allowing the abuser to continue his/her reign of terror upon the child.

New foster parents are always needed in every state in the union. If you are willing to open your homes and hearts up for kids, please contact your local authorities. You do NOT have to have alot of money or a huge house to do this. You are also allowed to choose what age group you want to move into your home. Some people don't have time for young children. Others do not want to deal with older children.

If you are able to make a donation for this cause, please go to the following site and give however much money you can to help.

Thank you for going out of your way to make a difference!!!

May God bless you and all of the children who are or will be subjected to all of this pain.


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